Dates
are rarely ever comfortable. Whenever I think of the word "dating" I
think of this quote in "Wedding Crashers":
"Janice,
I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward
intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling.
You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating,
am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really
interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I
think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not
interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested...
And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then
it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where
you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out ‘cause you're
trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the
lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the
situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get
hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called
"just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or,
ouch, ouch you're on my hair."
I
really cannot describe it any better. Every single date is different. All of
the ones I have been on as of late, have all been complete and utter failures.
John:
To this day, when I think of him it literally hurts me. There is so much
unresolved anger after this guy that for a long time, I had no idea what to do
with myself. However, I feel that I handled what happened to me by this guy as
good as I possibly could all alone, because I have never come out to anyone
about the happenings with John and I. I met him on PlentyofFish.com. He was
handsome, funny, kind, and successful with his own construction business, what
was not to like? We had gone on a few dates and he asked if I wanted to go to a
cookout/pig roast at his friend’s house. I thought it would be fun so I said
yes, I would definitely go. He gave me the address to his house where I was to
pick him up and go to his friend’s house. I picked him up and we were off. We
get to his friends place and they were all SO nice. John and I cuddled and
watched fireworks, we had a lot of awesome food; it was so much fun, we had a
really good time. I went back to his place and stayed the night. The next day
he was supposed to take me somewhere, but I cannot remember where. However, it
never happened, he broke plans with me. That’s fine, I'll go back to Bangor and
do whatever I would do if I wasn't going to see him that day. I wasn't upset
about it. I really fell hard for this guy. He was so sweet and charming. A few
days later I get a text from him that I had apparently been seeing someone
behind his back. Not only was this not true, but even if it was, we were not in
an exclusive relationship and we only had 2 dates. To this day, I still have no
idea what he is talking about. To make a long story short, he broke up with me.
I was pretty much devastated, but what could I do. I didn’t do anything wrong.
A few weeks later I get a text from John. He told me he made a mistake letting
me go and that he wanted to come over to make amends. I told him I didn’t know
if that was a good idea, and that I did not know if I wanted to be with a guy
who would fly off the handle like that. He assured me he wanted to have this
conversation in person and that I wouldn’t regret it. Spoiler alert...I regret
it...I told John to come over the next day for dinner, and he did. I can even
tell you what I made. As I was washing the pot that I had made dinner in, he
came up behind me and started to touch me...I told him to stop and that I did
not want to do this because I still didn’t know if I wanted to be with him. He
did not take no for an answer. He took me to my bedroom and date raped me. I
said no so many times, but he just did what he wanted. When he left, I just
cried. Thankfully my cat was around at this point to be next to me. I was
terrified. This man knew my address now...I didn’t sleep for about 2 days. To
this day I still go back to that day and wonder how I did not see it coming.
But there is nothing I can do about it now...the past is the past and I cannot
let it dictate my future.
Derek:
While this idiot is not as bad as John, Derek gets "asshole of the
year" award for this date. I just moved to Massachusetts for my first job
out of college. I am new to the area and I found Derek on OkCupid. We had talked
for a few days and we decided to meet at a bar just outside of Boston, and
about 3 miles to his house. We hit it off when we were getting drinks, and he
asked if I wanted to go back to his place to watch a movie and hang out, see if
his roommates were around. That should have been my cue to say "no thanks,
I should get going..." but I didn’t. I went to his place. He drove to his
place and we were watching Black Hawk Down. (One of my favorite movies.) We
started making out a little, you know, PG stuff. But then he grabbed my hand
and put it on the outside of his crotch. This is when I knew it was just going
downhill from here. He let go of my hand and I quickly moved my hand somewhere
else. He all of a sudden unzips his pants and whips it out! I’m trying to watch
one of my favorite movies and this guy whispers in my ear "suck
it"...hum....no!? I just explained to him that I am not one of those girls
who gives it up to just anyone and that I do not have sex without monogamy.
(Yes, that is my new mantra...I do not have sex without monogamy...let’s just
say I haven’t had sex in forever.) He looked at me like I had 5 eyes. That’s
when things got awkward. He decided since I wasn't going to give him sex I
should probably leave...yup, that’s right. He kicked me out at 9:30pm. He did
not drive me to my car, he made me walk. So here I am, middle of who knows
where, at 9:30 at night, in a little black dress and sky high heels, walking 3
miles to my car, all alone outside of Boston. I have not seen, or talked to him
since. Which is probably a good thing for him because I would probably cut his
dick off.
Hektor:
Guys down here in Massachusetts definitely live up to their
"masshole" name don't they! Well Hektor is no exception, even though
he lives in Portsmouth NH. Hektor is from Sweden but has a work visa for the
U.S. I met Hektor on Tinder and he seemed very charming and funny and
personable, he was caring and very understanding and he knew I was not looking
for sex, I was looking to date and possibly have a relationship with someone.
That being said, a few days after we talked on Tinder, we met in Amesbury. We had
drinks at a local Irish pub and when went to the park out back of the bar and
talked and shared a few intimate kisses...nothing risqué. He was very charming
and affectionate. He was really everything I was looking for, so we had a
second date. We went to Salisbury beach at night and watched the tide come in,
we walked and talked along the beach. It was so romantic, I loved every minute
with him. After that night we talked a little but did not see each other again.
Why? Because he texted me a week later saying that he needed a rebound because
he broke up with his girlfriend the week before him and I met. He now does not
need a rebound anymore because he found someone else. Seriously? Why can't you
just be honest at the beginning? Do not make me fall for you and then tell me
that you just needed to use me to get over someone! So rude.
Joel: One of my few Tinder dates! No wonder it is
in this section. Wow, where do I start with this one. We met on Tinder, and he
was definitely different than the rest of the guys on there as he was polite
and engaging and he was just overall normal and not asking for random sex.
After three or four days of talking we decided to go out to eat. I met him up
in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. We were supposed to go to Bugaboo Creek in
Portsmouth but they had a water main break and therefore the restaurant was
closed. So he said to hop into his car and he would drive us down the street to
another restaurant that was really good. To this day I do not remember the
restaurant name, but it was delicious.
We get to the restaurant and immediately he runs to the bar…without me.
So I slowly follow up behind him. Apparently he knew a couple at the bar and
wanted to say hi. Well “hi” took 15 minutes, and when they FINALLY asked who I
was, he introduced me as his date, and mentioned it was our first date. Usually
on a first date, you and the guy sit together and get to know each other and it
is personal. Not this date. We sat at the bar with his friends and I learned a
lot more about him than I ever wanted to know. But what’s worse, they weren’t
even talking to me. I was just overhearing the stories. I was literally ignored
for 30 minutes while these three reminisced about the “old times”. Luckily
there was a football game on to keep me occupied. If I had my car, I probably
would have walked out because it was so rude. When the couple that were
initially at the bar left, that’s when my date FINALLY decided to include me in
our date. We had a lovely meal and barely talked because I was pissed but I
wanted to keep it civil. After dinner and a little talking he drove me back to
my car where he decided to inform me that he is a genuine asshole. (face palm)
Why would you EVER admit that to a girl you are on a date with!? Do men
seriously think that we date assholes on purpose? After that I told him that I
could not see him again as what he did on out date (ignoring me to talk to his
friends) was unacceptable, and that him admitting and being proud that he is an
asshole is a huge red flag. He got pissed and sped off into the night. I
haven’t heard from him since. (Not surprising.)
No comments:
Post a Comment